Has there even been a time in your life when it was hard to trust someone? I don't mean that you couldn't trust him because he had failed you before. I mean you knew full well that you could trust him. You wanted to trust him. But it hurt to make the decision to do so.
I've been there with God recently. A lot.
A lot of situations this past year, especially in preparation for and during this summer have required a lot of trust. I've had to give God control of a lot of things - from finances to friendships to travel. I've had to face fears. I've had to face changes. And I'm still facing changes - some of which I'm looking forward to, others of which I am still trying to figure out how I'll handle.
In Proverbs, we are told to trust in the Lord with our whole hearts. I don't know about you, but there are certain parts of my heart that it's hard to trust God with.
And this from someone who is inclined to trust. A lot of people will make you earn their trust. I tend to be the opposite. I tend to give you trust until you prove that you shouldn't have it. And yet, God has had to earn my trust over the years.
But it's still more than that. Even with as many times as He's proved that He is trustworthy, most of the time, it's still a struggle for me to trust Him in each new situation.
Changing directions for a bit... Who do you trust most? Is it someone you met on the street last week? Maybe you could give their name if you thought hard about it. Or is it your best friend? You could share the smallest, most obscure detail about their lives. Without even trying you can answer any question the way they would.
Even with my inclination to trust people, I'm more likely to trust my closest friends than some stranger. Not only have they proved that they deserve the trust I've given them, I know they Love me. Not only have they proved that they won't intentionally hurt me, I know they'll do whatever is in my best interest.
Like I said before, I've been having to trust God with a lot recently. And it's stuff I really care about. So it hurts. It's been easier in the past when I know that what I want isn't going to happen. But for once, I can see how the things I want could actually happen. And I can't see how it would hurt. But God is still asking me to trust Him with the situation.
He's not saying it won't happen, but He is saying to let Him take care of it - to let Him be in charge of if it happens and if it does, when. It's hard knowing that I'm trusting Him with the process as well as the end result.
At the same time, it's easier than it's ever been. I've spent the past two years learning more about God and what pleases Him and growing closer to Him. I've spent the summer falling absolutely in love with Him. Because of all that, I understand how much He Loves me. I know He won't hurt me. I know He'll do what's in my best interest. I know it in my heart and not just my head. And that's what's new.
It's like some of my best friends. I'd trust them with my life. Then in some situations, I'm not so sure how their plan makes any sense, so it's hard to trust them in that specific situation. That's where I am with God. I trust Him with my life, but His plan isn't making a lot of sense right now. So it's hard to trust Him.
But here's the thing. More than His plan doesn't make sense, I know it's the best. I know He Loves me and will provide the best for me no matter what. I have experienced it. And so I'm learning. I'm learning the truth behind 1 John 4:18.
Because my words can't begin to explain the goodness of His Love and the ease of trusting Him that it brings, I'll leave you with His. I hope you can come to your own understanding of it.
"Such Love has no fear, because perfect Love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect Love." - 1 John 4:18
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