Pursuit

"God is the relentless lover, and we are His first love. He will never stop pursuing us because He wants us back." - Robin Jones Gunn


Fair warning. This post may be a little different than a normal one. Normally, when I post on here, it's about something God just finished teaching me. Or I'm right at the tail end of what He's teaching me, so I get it and all that's left is to put it into practice.

This is not like that. Because, well, I don't get it yet.

God has really been working with me on the issue of pursuit recently. Letting myself be pursued by Him. And pursuing Him back.

I get that I'm pursued by Him. I like that He pursues me. I'm pretty sure I've thanked Him for it every day so far this week. Mostly because this week has gotten better since I gave in to that pursuit. But there's a difference between giving in and allowing Him to pursue me. And He wants me to allow Him to chase after my heart.

I'm not sure yet, but I'm pretty sure that happens when I pursue Him more. Which is the other thing He's really working with me on right now. And to be completely honest, I don't get it. At all.

So, bear with me on this part. I'm using a pretty girly example here because it's what God is using with me. Sometimes, it's the only way He can get something through to me.

Anyway, it's like this. For a lot of girls, when we like a guy, we want them to like us back. Except, we would prefer they show it before we do.  Because we want them to know that just because we like them, it does not mean it's going to be easy for them to be able to date us. We want them to show interest in us. We want them to really win our hearts. Basically, we want them to pursue us. (And there's a lot more to it than that, but this is what's important to this idea of pursuit.)

But, at the same time, when girls like a guy, we like to pursue them too. Some girls are blatantly obvious about it - they flirt; they ask the guy out instead of waiting on him; things of that nature. Some won't do anything other than tell their friends how great and how cute the guy is; they normally don't even know if the guy notices them or not. Then there's those who are in the middle of the spectrum. Those girls who try to give subtle hints, who talk to the guy more than normal, who make an effort to spend time with him. But they still wait for the guy to make all the first moves. They let the guys they like know that they're willing to be pursued, even want to be pursued, but they make the guys do the work to start the relationship. (And, no, I am not telling you which one of the three types I am.)

Now, back to how this applies to our relationships with God.

God pursues us relentlessly.

Relentlessly.

That means that when we're walking with Him, He still pursues us. When we're falling back, He turns around and follows us, asking us to come back to Him. When we are running as far as we possibly can in the opposite direction of His plans for us, He is still searching for us, calling our names, trying to capture our hearts. You know how Adam Sandler's character in "50 First Dates" has to win his girl's heart every single day, even after they're married? It's kind of like that. Because, let's face it. We pretty often make Him have to chase after us again and again just because we're that stubborn and seem to forget how much He really Loves us.

But here's the thing. Yes, God is the Pursuer, but He also wants to be pursued. By us. He wants to know that we desire Him. That He means something to us. That He is significant in our lives. He wants to know that He has our attention.

He's blatantly obvious about how much He Loves us and wants our hearts. He wrote us a Love letter 66 books long to tell us how much. He died to show us how much.

But He doesn't want to be the only one in the relationship who's doing the work. He wants us to seek more of His heart - to know what He cares about and desires more than anything. He wants us to show Him how much we care about Him and if sharing those deeper, more intimate things with us is going to bring us closer to Him. Or if we'll turn and run away when things get hard.

Now, here's where I'm stuck. What does He mean when He says "Pursue me"? How do I show Him that I want Him more than anything? How do I show Him that I want to know Him better? That I want more of His heart? How do I let Him know that I'm not going to run away when that stuff seems like too much? Especially when He knows I have already pursued other things more than Him (and probably will again)? That's what I want to know. How do I pursue Him the way He wants to be pursued?

Anyway, like I said. This is still a process I'm in the middle of. Actually, to be more accurate, I feel like I'm still at the beginning of this one. I'm honestly kind of surprised I'm posting this instead of just journaling it, but I felt like I should share it.

So, for those of you reading this who know I welcome your accountability, please, feel free to hold me accountable on this. Or for those of you who are learning the same thing, feel free to share with me, and we'll figure this out together.

And remember, God Loves you. With a relentless Love.

Lead Me

Leader and follower. The leader leads and the follower follows. Seems like a simple concept right?

Paul told the Corinthians "And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ." Other translations of this verse say, "Follow me as I follow Christ." Ok. Again, simple right? Find a godly leader and follow him or her.

I'm pretty sure I've got the following part down pretty well. I see someone who is further along in their relationship with God than I am, and I start to follow them. I do my absolute best to imitate them. Half the time, I don't even have to try. I just end up doing the things I see them do all the time.

The part I still have to get down is the "just as I imitate Christ" part. Not that I follow them in things contrary to what Christ would do. They really are good, godly leaders. What gets me is imitating them in things that don't really matter - like the desserts I grab on my way out of a dining hall or what I think of characters in movies or even the annoying songs that I now like for some unexplainable reason. Or I depend on them to lead me. When I'm around them, I tend to forget (or to be more accurate, don't act on) the fact that there are people following me too that I should actually lead.

Within the last few weeks, God has issued me a challenge. To let Him lead me. To lean on Him. Because in Ephesians, we are commanded, "Imitate God... in everything you do."

When God puts someone in our lives who is a godly leader, it's not so we can try to make an exact copy of their life in our own. It's so we have an example of how to imitate Him. He is the one who's life we want to copy in our own. That's why Paul didn't stop at "you should imitate me." Paul made sure that he added "just as I imitate Christ."

As we imitate God more, we begin to depend on Him more. Our identity becomes more dependent on who He is. That leads us to depend on Him more, which in turn causes us to follow Him more closely.

God made each of us unique. He gave us different passions, different talents, different likes and dislikes, different personalities. We each have a different aspect of who God is built into us. That is why we can all imitate Him and still be the individual that He created us to be. That is why we can find godly leaders and follow them as they follow Christ while we are still being a leader that someone else can follow as we follow Christ.

Love Me

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to Love you better."

That's not something that's said often in our society. Most people just assume if they Love you that it's enough. That you know it. That they show it the way they need to.

To be honest, I've only heard it once. And I've only said it a few times myself. I've heard plenty of things that essentially mean that, but only one person has ever communicated that directly to me.

One of my really good friends had written that in the letter she gave me on my birthday. When I read it, I was surprised. You see, this particular friend is one of my really good friends for a reason (actually multiple reasons, but one in particular). That reason is that she Loves me. Really well. And she knows that I know that. So when I read that, I didn't think I would ever give her an answer. Eventually, I did give her an answer. Since then, she has continued to do her best to Love me. She's even made it clear that if I ever have another answer, I can tell her.

All of that happened in September and October. But what's cool is that God is still using it. And not just in my relationship with that friend.

Last week, I realized that I wasn't feeling God's Love the way I needed to. It wasn't that He doesn't Love me. I know that He does. And I know He Loves me better than anyone else ever could. He shows it all the time. But I still wanted to feel it more. So I did something I've only done once before.

I said what I need to feel Loved.

I asked God to give me more affirmation. And God did what He always does. He answered me. And as always, went beyond what I imagined.

That same night, He reminded me that He calls me His "treasure" and His "bride."

The next night when people from my campus ministry met for prayer, He said something I had been wanting to hear from someone, anyone for several weeks. He told me (through a friend) that He is proud of me.

The night after that was great too. My dad used to say all the time, "You're valuable and precious to me." I can't remember the last time I heard that statement. For some reason, it's something I remembered a few months ago and have missed since then. But during worship that night God told me that I am "valuable and precious" to Him. And it meant more to me than it ever has before.

Then, the other day, I asked God what it would look like or sound like if He wrote me a "love letter." It just seemed like He said, "Why don't you find out?" That's what I did earlier today. I sat there and listened to what God had to say to me and wrote it in my journal in the form of a letter. The words were tender. They were those of both a father and a lover. To say the very least, I feel Loved. And Loved well.

My mentor likes to say that our relationships with other people are meant to teach us about our relationship with God. And I'm always learning how true that is. Had God not blessed me with a friend so eager to show Love, so willing to learn how she can Love better, I might not have even thought to ask God to show me His Love in a way that I would understand it better. I might not have learned to stop and accept His Love. And that was something else He reminded me of last week - that He is always showing me His Love, even in the friends that He gives me.

And now I'm excited to see how He continues to show me Love. Just like I'm always excited to see how my good friends are going to show me Love.

So, here's a suggestion. Tell God what you need to feel Loved. Of course He already knows, but He wants to hear it. And once you tell Him, don't forget to stop and listen. Don't forget to take notice when He's trying to make you feel Loved. Let Him Love you as well as He truly does.

In His Glory

"Greater Love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." - John 15:13


How many of you just read that verse and automatically thought of Easter? Jesus's death on the cross to save us from our sins. I mean after all, He did say this less than twenty-four hours before His crucifixion. Honestly, I've always thought of this verse as relating to Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.

Until a few weeks ago...

Just like every Tuesday night, I was at a Chi Alpha worship service on my college campus. But that night was different. You see? It was our last worship service of the semester, before finals and before we all went home for a month long break. And as we do at the end of every semester we had a special service just for worship and communion.

At some point during the service we started to sing "O Come All Ye Faithful." At one point during this song, it says, "We'll give You all the glory." As I sang those words to my Savior, I started thinking.

Earlier this year God had been teaching me a lot about His Love (and He still is). He was particularly focusing on what His Love looks like and that His Love for us is what brings Him so much glory. Anytime I would see a cross or a picture of Jesus on the cross, it was like God was telling me, "This. This is Love."

His death on that cross was the greatest display of Love He could ever give - the laying down of His life for me. And since God is Love, His death on that cross was the greatest display of who He is that He could ever give to the world.  The more God revealed that to me, the more I came to see His death on that cross as the moment of His greatest glory. Because that was the moment I could look back on over 2,000 years later and say, "That is when Jesus showed me what Love is. That is when He showed me how much He Loves me."

So as I sang that popular Christmas carol, I was reflecting on what God had taught me earlier this year. But you see, this song talks about looking on Him lying in a manger, not looking at the cross. It even tells the faithful to come to Bethlehem and behold Him. Not to Jerusalem to behold the cross.

As I worshiped and thought about these things, God reminded me of John 15:13. And I understood. I understood why the image of Jesus in a manger is so holy.

When Jesus was in that manger, He was giving up His life. For the first time. He was giving up His life in heaven so that He could show us how to live in God's power and freedom. He was giving up His life so that we could know who God is. He was giving up His life in heaven to be with us on earth for thirty-three years. Just like He would give up His life on earth thirty-years later to pay the price for that relationship.

So, next time you see a picture of baby Jesus in that manger, remember. Remember why that night was so holy. Remember how great His Love is for you. Remember that no matter how dirty and smelly that manger was, Jesus was in the moment of His greatest glory. His greatest glory because it was His greatest Love.

Dear Jesus,
I remember. I remember that today is all about You. If it were not for Your Love, today would not be worth celebrating because You never would have entered our world. Thank You. For everything. I Love You. Have a very happy birthday.
Love,
Me
PS - Thanks for sharing Your presents.

For Who You Are

When you're friends with people, what is it that makes you like them? Or if you say you love them, what is your reason? Do you love them because of the things they do? Do you love them because of the things they like or dislike? Do you love them because of their sense of humor? Or do you love them because of who they are?

Over the last several months, God has been showing me a lot about Himself and the things He can do or be for me. He's shown me that He is the firm foundation I can build on if I choose. And when I chose Him, He remained solid. He's shown me that He can lead me if I choose to follow Him. He's shown me that He wants me to be close to Him. He's shown me that I can trust Him. He's shown me a glimpse of His faithfulness and given me promises that I'm excited to see fulfilled. He's shown me His power time and time again as people come to know Him, step out in what He has called them to, and receive healing. And all these things make Him worthy of our worship - worthy of our Love.

But over the last few weeks, He's shown me something more. He doesn't want to be praised because of what He has done or is doing. He doesn't want to be praised because of what He will do. Of course He wants the glory for those things and He wants to be thanked for them. But most of all, He wants to be praised for who He is. 

Our God is worthy of all praise. If He had never done anything for us, if He chose never to do anything for us again, He would still be worthy of praise. He would still be worthy of glory. And He would still be worthy of Love.

After all, He is the creator of the Universe. He is more powerful than any other power in the world. He is wiser than the wisest person in the world. He is faithful to the end. He is pure and righteous. He is strong and protective. He is forgiving. He is holy (a characteristic we will never be able to comprehend in this life).

And He is Love. He doesn't just Love us. He is Love itself. He pours Himself out for each and every one of us to know and experience in our own way. He is the greatest giver in the world just because He is Love.

He is worthy of praise. Not because of what He has done or will do for us. But because He is God. He is worthy of praise because of who He is, and our praise is the best thing we could ever give Him.

Dear God,

I thank You for being You. I am continually amazed by who You are and how You pour yourself out on me everyday. How You give of Yourself to the people of this world. Thank You for being a God who is worthy of praise and glory and honor and worship. Thank you for being a God who deserves all my Love - all my devotion and adoration. Thank You for being the only God who deserves all of that. I praise You for who You are - even if I don't know everything that means. I praise You still, and I can't wait until You show me more of who You are.

Love,

Me

Running After You

"As Jesus was walking along, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector's booth. 'Follow Me and be My disciple," Jesus said to Him. So Matthew got up and followed Him." - Matthew 9:9


If you're out on a hiking trail, what would you rather have - a guide or directions? Before you answer, let me explain the difference.

First, directions. They have to be created by someone who's been there before. They can tell you which way to turn whenever you have a choice to make. They can tell you the major landmarks and probably the places where you'll be likely to take a wrong turn.

Now, a guide. A guide has been on the trail many times before. He knows every little thing about it. He can tell you where every stone is that you might trip over. He can pull the tree branches aside so they don't hit you in the face. He can show you all the beautiful things along the side of the path. When you come to a fork in the road or an intersection, you don't have to stop and figure out which way the map or directions tell you to go, because the guide is there to lead you.

Now you can decide. Which would you rather have? A guide or directions?

Jesus asks us to follow Him. He doesn't want us to just ask Him how to get somewhere. He wants us to follow Him there. He wants to be our guide.

That's something He's been teaching me about - what it means to follow Him. One thing about following Him, is that I have to stay close to Him. Which takes a lot of learning.

Think about your closest friends. You probably know them pretty well. Right? You're so close to them that you know their favorite movie, their favorite music, their favorite place to eat. You know what they dislike. You know what they like to do. And it's not difficult to think the way they would in any given situation. When they ask you to do something for them, you probably don't think twice about it. And you got to that point by talking with them and spending time with them.

It's the same way with God. You get close to Him by being with Him and talking with Him. Eventually you can start to understand the way He thinks. Even if it's not the way you think on your own, you can still choose to see things the way He does. You can understand why He sees them that way. And it makes you happy to see them His way and do things the way He wants them done.

As you get closer to Him, it becomes easier to follow Him. You know Him better, so it's easier to trust Him. You'll be close enough to see the stumbling blocks He points out and avoid them. You'll be close enough to see where He tells you to side step a hole. You'll be able to see and appreciate the small beauties in your life that He points out. You'll even be close enough to see where He wants you to go at those decision-making points. Sure, you'll still have to listen when He tells you where to go, but you won't have to wait as long because you'll hear more quickly.

That's what it means to be a follower of Christ, to let Him be your guide. It means being close to Him, doing what He says to do when He says to do it, without thinking about the alternatives. It means enjoying your life, just because He's a part of it.

When you choose to follow Him, it makes a difference. When Matthew chose to follow Him, he lost his reputation as a "sinner" and left the legacy of a disciple, one of the members of the original church. For me, so far, it's meant discovering how to have a closer relationship with my true Best Friend and how to trust Him more.

What difference will it make in your life when you choose to follow Him?

Teach Me

Ever had one of those tests you had to study for for a really long time? One where it seemed like no matter how much you understood, you still couldn't get it all. Every time you understood something else, you realized there was more you needed to understand that you hadn't realized you needed to know before.

I am realizing that I have so much to learn. God is teaching me stuff left and right. Every time I talk to Him. Every time I step into a church service or something else of that sort. Every time I talk with the friends who push me closer to Jesus. He teaches me something new. Or at the very least helps me understand something that isn't really so new.

Right now, there is a position God wants me to be in. A place where He wants me to be. And I know where that spot is.

There's only one problem. Up until the last week or so, I was trying to learn how to get to that point so I could earn the rewards from it. It's like studying to get an A on a test.

The thing is, getting an A on a test isn't the point of studying. The point of studying is to learn. When it comes to my relationship with God the rewards, the things I want to know, are not the point of where He wants me to be. He wants me to get to that point so that I am closer to Him. Closer to everything He has for me.

So right now, I'm at that point of realizing that everything He taught me about getting to that point isn't just for that. It's about putting those things into practice and being right where He wants me. The more I learn about that, the more I realize that I have a lot left to learn. For instance, I have to learn how to put those things into practice. I have to learn how to make them real in my life.

But as I continue getting closer to Him, He'll get me where I need to be. Sure, there will still be work to do. There will still be more things to learn, but I'll be where I need to be for that moment in time. And eventually He'll give me the things I originally thought were my rewards.

For now though, I'm just going to focus on the point of studying. I'm going to learn what He has to teach me and put it into practice. At the same time, I'll know that I'll get my A+ whenever He is ready to give it to me.