The Time in Between

What am I here for?

It's a common wondering. Everyone wants to know there's a reason for their existence. Otherwise, what's the point?

In the church world, we do know there's a reason. We're told God created us for a purpose. He has a specific plan for your life. Then we spend years trying to figure out what it is.

In my quiet time the other day, it occurred to me. What if we only lived for the specific purpose God has for us? What if the unique call on our lives that we long to know was the only thing we did with our lives?

Let's face it. That's exactly what most of us do. We spend the first part of our lives trying to find out what that call is. When we do find out, we wait around for it to happen. Or we try to make it happen immediately.

I'll admit it. I've been one of those people. I asked for years what God wanted me to do with my life. I spent a lot of time trying to make whatever it was fit into what I wanted to do with my life. In the past year, God has blessed me with the knowledge of what He wants me to do for at least part of my life. (By the way, fitting it into what I wanted to do didn't happen, except now that I know Him better, I want to do it anyway.) I know I need to prepare for what He has for me, but I spent most of this summer completely focused on that future call. I forgot about where I am right now.

God knows what He's doing though. He made sure that changed. In my Bible reading I've been learning about different people. People who knew their purpose, who knew the job God had planned for them. People like David, Paul, and of course Jesus. Each of these people knew his special purpose. They prepared for it, but they didn't forget the job right in front of them.

David knew he was going to be king of Israel. But what if he only lived for that? Would Israel have been rescued from the Philistines when Goliath challenged them? Would he have had the support he needed to become king when Saul and Jonathan died?

Paul knew he was the one to bring the good news of Jesus' life, death and resurrection to the Gentiles. But what if he had only lived for that? How many more Jews wouldn't have heard? How many more Jews wouldn't have believed?

Jesus. His purpose was to be the sacrifice for our sin. But what if He had only lived for that? How many people would have remained sick? How many would have remained blind? How many would have remained in the grave prematurely? How many would have continued looking for a Messiah that would save them from Roman rule? How many of us would have not heard the Good News because someone dying and coming back to life is cool but if He didn't care about people isn't really someone worth dying for, let alone living for?

Yes, God has a specific place He's called us. He has a specific group of people He wants us to reach. But He has things for us to do before we get there. People to Love, places to go, things to learn. He created mankind to be in a relationship with Him. If we don't have the relationship with Him or lead those around us into that relationship, we won't be ready for our unique purpose.

God will make it happen when it's supposed to happen. Until then, what are we doing to accomplish our original purpose and help others accomplish theirs?

The Birds of the Air

"Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to Him than they are?" - Matthew 6:26

When you were a baby, did you have food? Or did your parents have food? Did you feed yourself or did your parents feed you? Did they feed you when you were full or when it was the right time?

I'm pretty sure, that when you were a baby, your parents bought food. They shared it with you. (I mean, why else would they buy canned mush?) They fed you, and they fed you when you were hungry. You were wholly dependent on them because you couldn't earn money, you couldn't go grocery shopping, you couldn't open the can of baby food, and you couldn't lift the spoon to your mouth.

Raw dependence. I have heard that phrase over and over again this year. To be honest though, I've only just started to figure out what it means and looks like. To be even more honest, figuring it out is terrifying. You know why?

Because you learn raw dependence on God by having no other option than to depend on Him to get you through. And it is FRIGHTENING!

This is especially true in the area of finances and God's provision. I've always known God could provide. I've always known He would. I've seen Him provide for other people. I've seen Him provide for my family even. Even though I've seen Him provide for so many other people, I've never been the one in control of the finances that were running short without Him. Until last month.

What God taught me is not that He provides. What God taught me is that He wants us to depend on Him and not what He provides.

In the Old Testament, when God gave the Israelites manna, He did it on a daily basis. They were only supposed to gather what they and their family needed for the day. If they did take more than one day's worth, it went bad before the next day anyway. God wanted them to trust that He would provide from them every single day.

I'm finally starting to understand that God doesn't run on our time table. We want to have enough stored up to get us by for a year, but oftentimes, being fully dependent on God means waiting on His timing. His timing always feels like the last minute. Learning that is not fun.

Until He comes through.

He comes through, and you suddenly realize how wonderful it is to depend on Him. The more you depend on Him, the more you can see His promises come true. You see His promises come true because you're looking for them and because you're giving Him room to keep them instead of trying to help Him out.

When it looks like there's no way, God shows up and shows out. He does something that only He can do. He sends a mysterious bread-like substance on a daily basis. He sends 105 million quail just so there's meat to eat. He multiplies five loaves and two fish into enough to feed 5,000 men plus women and children with 12 baskets left over. He puts an envelope with just enough to pay your tithes and your bills on your bed.

God cares for the animals and the flowers because He made them. He made you too. You are far more valuable to Him than they are. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will always provide at exactly the right time.

I'm excited to spend the rest of my life depending on Him and letting Him fulfill His promises in my life. Join me in this journey of faith. Ask God what His promises are for your life and watch how He brings them to pass.

In Your Presence

I have come to a realization. Jesus died so I could be with God.

It's not like I haven't known that for years. That's the most basic explanation for why Jesus came to earth, died on the cross and rose again. Sin separated us from God, He wanted us to be with Him for eternity, so Jesus died. There's more to it though. It's not just about eternity. It's about the here and now.

Back in the day, and I mean way back in the day, only select people were allowed to be in the presence of God. Only the priests could go into the Holy of Holies where God's Spirit dwelled. Even they had many regulations to follow. They had to live holy lives. To be in God's presence they had to follow very specific rules. They could only enter His presence with worship and sacrifice. If anyone else entered the Holy of Holies or if the priests didn't follow the rules exactly, they died.

I've been reading a lot in my Bible about the Tent of Meeting, the Tabernacle, the regulations the Israelites had to live by. The Bible makes it pretty clear that being with God was both a privilege and a responsibility. The priests back in the day may have lived with a lot of requirements. But they had a privilege no one else had. 

A sacrifice had to be made for anyone to enter God's presence. That's why Jesus died. God wanted to be with us. He didn't want to be separated from His people. Not by death. But also not by a curtain.

Jesus' death did more than allow us to live with Him for eternity. It allows us to enter His presence now. The sacrifice has been made. By dying on the cross, Jesus granted us the privilege of walking and talking with His Spirit daily. Like the priests in the Old Testament, we can enter His presence. We can seek His will for our own lives. We are constantly in His presence.

As much as I appreciate God's gift to me, the privilege He has blessed me with, I'm starting to question myself. I say I'm grateful to be able to enter His presence, but do I truly honor His presence like I should? I'm not going to be struck down immediately if I don't. Jesus brought grace for that. But after all, He is holy, and holiness deserves to be honored.

God wants more than to just be where we are. He wants to fellowship with us. He wants us to know Him. He wants to be worshipped. When we do that, we enter His presence. It's something we can do every second of every day. Our life looks different when we do. I mean, Exodus says Moses' face was radiant after spending time on the mountain with God.

I'm starting to understand what this looks like in my life. For starters, acknowledging Him all the time. Thanking Him no matter what the circumstances. Even when it's cold and dreary outside. (If you know me, you know how big of a deal it is for me to be thankful for a cold and dreary day.) Letting God shine in my life is something I'm still working on, but I'm beginning to see it as a privilege that comes with the responsibility of sharing it with others.

If you're someone who wants to live in God's presence constantly, make a decision now. Make the decision to fellowship with Him constantly, to worship Him constantly. Make the decision to be obedient to all of His commands. It'll make a difference in your life. Even if you can't see it, someone else will. When they do, they'll be moved to worship the true God as well.

I Will Go

"Some of you in here are going to be youth pastors. Some of you in here are going to be missionaries." - Phil Clemens.

"Some of you in here are going to be missionaries."

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that statement, but one summer night in 2011, it became a broken record. It played over and over and over in my head for the rest of the night. I don't even remember what the message was about that night. But I heard that statement plain as day, and to this day, I can recite it like it was said two seconds ago.

That was the night I knew what God wanted me to do with my life. Since a few months prior, when I had given up my own plans, I had wanted to know His. Or so I thought... Now that I knew, I hated it. I hated it, and I fought it. Starting that night. I complained, I freaked out, and I refused to say yes to God's call.

It took a few months for me to even say OK. In case you don't know, OK and yes mean two different things.

For proof, here's some dictionary.com definitions.
OK: expresses understanding, agreement or acceptance
yes: expresses affirmation or assent

When, I said OK, I was saying I understood. I knew and accepted that it was what God wants me to do. It didn't mean I said I was going to do it. That was fall 2011. For a few more months, I would admit to my closest friends and my mentor that it's what I was supposed to do, but even that stopped eventually.

I knew what God wanted me to do but was unwilling to firmly and confidently say yes to Him. As a result, I was stuck. I didn't know what came next, because I wouldn't go past what I had already heard.

Until the end of last month...

Thousands of university students from all over the country. Hundreds of missionaries from all over the world. We all flocked to Fort Worth for a conference about world missions. I knew God was going to do something. I had an idea of what.

God taught me a lot in that short weekend. I can't put it all into words. My heart is so full of the things He did there and is still doing as a result.

God presented me with an invitation. He asked me if I would go. Finally, after a year and a half of knowing what He wants me to do, I said yes. I committed to giving a year and praying about a lifetime. I am going to Denmark as a missionary for at least a year.

I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot to apply to my life. For now, though, I know where I am. Until I get where I'm going, I'm a missionary here. I'm listening to God, and I'm responding. I'm receiving His Love and sharing it.

That's the invitation He's extending to all of us. "Will you share My Love?" So will you?

"And then He told them, 'Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone'." - Mark 16:15