Easy and hard. Wanting to make a decision you don't want to be asked to make. Letting go of control when all you want to do is hold on because you know that's the only way to really get what you want. Trust. It's what it all boils down to.
If you've been keeping up with my blog, you read the other day about how I've had to trust God in a lot of situations recently. Well, that same day, I was reminded about the reality and nearness of one of those situations. Almost immediately, I wanted to cry.
This particular situation is one I've been facing in one way or another for over a year. So from past experience and on the reminder a very good friend, I knew I needed to go to Jesus right away. As I sat in my apartment, I tried to tell God I wasn't ready, but I just couldn't make myself do it. All I could say was, "I trust You." Over and over again. "I trust You."
You see? Earlier this year, God gave me a choice. He gave me the choice of putting my security in Him or putting it in someone and something else. Even after I made the choice to put it in Him, it was a long journey until I actually felt that security. So when I was reminded how close I am to something that not even a year ago probably would have made me fall apart, all I knew to do was trust God. To tell Him that I trust that everything He's done in me this past year has prepared me. To acknowledge that He is my foundation, and that no matter how hard this seems, I know I'll be alright.
The next day, I was reading my Bible when I came across a verse that reminded me of the day God told me to choose Him as my security. I wanted to cry again. It was different than the night before though. This time it was from a sense of overwhelming peace.
Once again, God has proven Himself faithful. He promised me security if I chose Him, and He delivered. He promised me peace and stability in the middle of storms, and He delivered. He promised me that His Love would drive out all fear, and again, He delivered.
That's the thing with trust. It gets easier. Every time you choose to trust someone and they keep their promises, it becomes easier to trust them again.
So, even though it's probably still going to take a conscious decision every time God asks me to trust Him, trusting Him with this and seeing His promises fulfilled will hopefully make the decision easier. I know what it's like to live with and without the stability that comes from trusting Him. And I can't do without that security.
I challenge you to trust Him. No matter what is going on in your life, give Him control. It'll be hard at first, but eventually, you'll get to the point where it's too hard not to. I promise. He'll remain faithful. His faithfulness will be worth it in the end.
"I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the Lord." - Hosea 2:20