"God is the relentless lover, and we are His first love. He will never stop pursuing us because He wants us back." - Robin Jones Gunn
Fair warning. This post may be a little different than a normal one. Normally, when I post on here, it's about something God just finished teaching me. Or I'm right at the tail end of what He's teaching me, so I get it and all that's left is to put it into practice.
This is not like that. Because, well, I don't get it yet.
God has really been working with me on the issue of pursuit recently. Letting myself be pursued by Him. And pursuing Him back.
I get that I'm pursued by Him. I like that He pursues me. I'm pretty sure I've thanked Him for it every day so far this week. Mostly because this week has gotten better since I gave in to that pursuit. But there's a difference between giving in and allowing Him to pursue me. And He wants me to allow Him to chase after my heart.
I'm not sure yet, but I'm pretty sure that happens when I pursue Him more. Which is the other thing He's really working with me on right now. And to be completely honest, I don't get it. At all.
So, bear with me on this part. I'm using a pretty girly example here because it's what God is using with me. Sometimes, it's the only way He can get something through to me.
Anyway, it's like this. For a lot of girls, when we like a guy, we want them to like us back. Except, we would prefer they show it before we do. Because we want them to know that just because we like them, it does not mean it's going to be easy for them to be able to date us. We want them to show interest in us. We want them to really win our hearts. Basically, we want them to pursue us. (And there's a lot more to it than that, but this is what's important to this idea of pursuit.)
But, at the same time, when girls like a guy, we like to pursue them too. Some girls are blatantly obvious about it - they flirt; they ask the guy out instead of waiting on him; things of that nature. Some won't do anything other than tell their friends how great and how cute the guy is; they normally don't even know if the guy notices them or not. Then there's those who are in the middle of the spectrum. Those girls who try to give subtle hints, who talk to the guy more than normal, who make an effort to spend time with him. But they still wait for the guy to make all the first moves. They let the guys they like know that they're willing to be pursued, even want to be pursued, but they make the guys do the work to start the relationship. (And, no, I am not telling you which one of the three types I am.)
Now, back to how this applies to our relationships with God.
God pursues us relentlessly.
Relentlessly.
That means that when we're walking with Him, He still pursues us. When we're falling back, He turns around and follows us, asking us to come back to Him. When we are running as far as we possibly can in the opposite direction of His plans for us, He is still searching for us, calling our names, trying to capture our hearts. You know how Adam Sandler's character in "50 First Dates" has to win his girl's heart every single day, even after they're married? It's kind of like that. Because, let's face it. We pretty often make Him have to chase after us again and again just because we're that stubborn and seem to forget how much He really Loves us.
But here's the thing. Yes, God is the Pursuer, but He also wants to be pursued. By us. He wants to know that we desire Him. That He means something to us. That He is significant in our lives. He wants to know that He has our attention.
He's blatantly obvious about how much He Loves us and wants our hearts. He wrote us a Love letter 66 books long to tell us how much. He died to show us how much.
But He doesn't want to be the only one in the relationship who's doing the work. He wants us to seek more of His heart - to know what He cares about and desires more than anything. He wants us to show Him how much we care about Him and if sharing those deeper, more intimate things with us is going to bring us closer to Him. Or if we'll turn and run away when things get hard.
Now, here's where I'm stuck. What does He mean when He says "Pursue me"? How do I show Him that I want Him more than anything? How do I show Him that I want to know Him better? That I want more of His heart? How do I let Him know that I'm not going to run away when that stuff seems like too much? Especially when He knows I have already pursued other things more than Him (and probably will again)? That's what I want to know. How do I pursue Him the way He wants to be pursued?
Anyway, like I said. This is still a process I'm in the middle of. Actually, to be more accurate, I feel like I'm still at the beginning of this one. I'm honestly kind of surprised I'm posting this instead of just journaling it, but I felt like I should share it.
So, for those of you reading this who know I welcome your accountability, please, feel free to hold me accountable on this. Or for those of you who are learning the same thing, feel free to share with me, and we'll figure this out together.
And remember, God Loves you. With a relentless Love.
