Have you ever had someone try taking you to a surprise location? Your friend gets you in the car and then won't tell you where you're going. If you're like me, you spend a lot of time trying to figure out where you're going. Based on the direction, you might even think you know where you're going. So you try to plan ahead - what you'll do when you get there, what you need to have there. Not that you can do anything about it, but you try.
So you're riding along, ready to go to the place you have determined is your destination. Just ahead of you, you see the exit you'll have to take. But the driver doesn't seem to realize that she is about to pass the exit. Finally, you say something; you let them know you're about to pass the exit.
"I know," says your friend, but she keeps driving.
That's when you try to take the wheel. You know where you're supposed to be going, and you don't intend to pass it.
Finally, your friend gives in and lets you steer her down the exit ramp. But once you let go of the wheel, she doesn't turn like you expect her to. Instead, she continues driving straight ahead, back up the entrance ramp to the highway.
"What are you doing?" you ask.
"Taking you where I promised you we would go."
"But you just passed it. We were supposed to follow that road."
"I never said that." Your friend looks at you lovingly. "You just assumed. I have plans to go somewhere much better." She smiles and returns her eyes to the road ahead.
Remember when you left that full service gas station and decided to let God come along? When you first get on the road, is He in the passenger seat or is He driving?
When I first let God in the car, when I first started letting Him be a part of my life outside of church, He was most definitely in the passenger seat. I asked Him for input on where I should go. I enjoyed talking to Him and spending time with Him. But He was definitely not in control. I still had my own plans, and I was set on following them. I thought I knew where God wanted to take me, so I started driving there.
Last school year, God threw in some new instructions. I chose to follow them. That's when confusion ensued. These new instructions turned me away from my plans. Kind of. He didn't completely change my direction, but He did adjust it.
Just because I chose to follow those instructions didn't mean it was easy. All of a sudden, I had no clue where I was going. I still knew which way I was heading, but I didn't know my destination anymore. It was rough because I still wanted to know. Without knowing, I didn't have a lot of control. In essence, I had allowed God to take me past what I thought was my exit, but I still wanted to be driving. I wanted to know where I was going so I could get there.
But God didn't want me to know. He wanted me to trust Him. He wanted me to give Him control. It was hard, but I finally did it. I learned how to say, "I don't know." I learned how to be alright with just letting God direct me where He wanted without begging for directions so I could get myself there. I knew He would tell me His plan when the time was right.
The only problem is that giving God control means that He does eventually get off the highway. He eventually takes an exit, whether it's an exit you like or not.
That happened to me this summer. Well, kind of. I'm not actually to the exit yet, but I can see it, and I can see that God is steering me in that direction.
To put it simply, I was not happy when I noticed where God was starting to steer me. That direction (and ultimately the destination it leads to) scares me. If I had still had plans, it would have completely changed them. One thing is for sure. It was something I never wanted to do. At all.
My solution - I tried to take the wheel back. I tried to get back in the driver's seat. I wanted to continue down the highway without knowing where it would lead. The thing is, not knowing wasn't stretching me anymore. It wasn't making me grow. And, well, God wants me to grow.
So if I wanted to let Him stay in control, I actually had to accept that I have an idea of His plans for my life, even if I don't know the specifics. It gives me a lot more room to grow. If for no other reason, because I have to prepare for that new destination. But more than anything, I have to learn how to really trust God and where He's taking me more than I ever have before. For me, it took a realization of two things to be able to leave God in control.
Number one. I had to realize where my purpose comes from. If I'm not living in God's purpose for my life, then I don't really have a purpose at all. And if I don't really have a purpose, I'm not going to be happy with my future. Simple, but still not easy to accept.
Number two. I can't fight with God. I've never been able to. I've tried. And I always fail. For two reasons. The first being fairly obvious. He's God. Eventually, God will get His way. Even if He finds someone else to do the job, He gets it done.
The second reason is that I care a lot about what God wants from me. I don't want to disappoint Him. I see Him as my Daddy, as my Best Friend. So I really want to make Him proud of me, to make Him happy with what I do. So even when I do decide I want to fight Him to get my way, I end up fighting myself at the same time. I end up fighting myself over whether I will let God win or force my own way when I know it's not the best way for me to go. And again, God ends up winning.
When God reminded me of that, I finally told Him yes. I told Him that I would let Him stay in control. I would let Him continue to direct me. I'm still not sure I actually want to go where I think He's taking me, but I know I will want to by the time He gets me there. And I'm willing to start heading there now, even though I know I'm not ready to be there. And that's what is important right now. I'm letting God move me toward that exit lane and moving forward at His rate.
He's teaching me to listen. He's teaching me to be a leader of His people. He's teaching me to trust Him with everything. And He's taking me to His destination for me one step at a time. He has control.
I hope you'll give God control of your life too. Let Him do more than fill you. Let Him drive you too. It's a day-by-day choice, though. You can give Him control one day and try to wrestle it back the next, but once you get used to it, giving Him control isn't as difficult as it was initially. It gets easier every time you do it.
Sit back and relax. You're the passenger on this journey of life. Let God take you where He wants and watch what He does. The things He takes you through will amaze you. And the final destination will be even more beautiful than the road there.
