Throw Your Mirrors Down

When you look in a mirror, what do you see? This is not a rhetorical question. I really want you to answer it (even though I am going to give you the most obvious answer). You don't have to tell me your answer, but at least tell yourself. You see yourself. Don't you? I mean, that is what a mirror is for isn't it? Now, I have another question, how do you see yourself? Do you see beauty? Do you see your character? Or do you see all the imperfections? The one tiny little zit that nobody else in the world would notice? The one hair that is out of place?

Now, think about this. The greatest artist in the world has painted a picture of you. He used the best canvas with the highest quality paints. He gives every detail the greatest attention while still focusing on the big picture. When you look at that painting, what do you see? Do you see a reflection of yourself? Or do you see yourself as the artist sees you?

Here's the most important question. When you ask that artist to show you how he or she sees you, who is it? Who is the greatest artist in the world in your opinion? Whose artistic eye are you going to trust? If it's yourself, the picture you get is going to be the exact same as the reflection you see in the mirror. If it's another human being, he or she will probably include at least one imperfection in the painting, one that you'll never be able to erase, no matter how hard you try. If it's the one who created you and molded you, all you're going to see in that painting is what is beautiful about you.

I am part of a small group Bible study here on my college campus. This semester, our leaders give us a challenge every week that we are supposed to complete by the next week. Last week, our challenge was to write down how we think God sees us. I'll be honest, I didn't really take the time to write it down, but I did spend a lot of time thinking about it.

For years, I have been hearing, "God thinks you're beautiful. He always has. He always will. He created you. Who are you to say He messed up?" Honestly, it took me a while to grasp that, but I did finally get it about a year ago. I heard this Barlow Girl song. Two lines of this song say, "I'm looking into the eyes of who made me. And to Him, I am beauty beyond compare." After many times of hearing that song, something clicked. No matter how well I know that God sees me as beautiful, looking at my own depiction of myself doesn't work. I have to see through His eyes. Since then, I have done a pretty good job seeing myself as beautiful. There are still times when it's hard, but it's easier.

Recently, though, I have had some much bigger issues come up. I have questioned why God still loves me. I have questioned why He wants me to do what He wants me to do. I have questioned my qualifications for His love and His call basically.

When I looked in a mirror, this is the reflection I saw. I saw someone who no matter how much of God's love she had seen in the past week, still paid extra special attention to someone who didn't have the same love for her. I saw someone who wasn't strong enough to fix her own issues, let alone help other people through theirs. I saw someone who was always taking a step back instead of more steps forward.

Then, my Creator caused me to snap out of it. Through some very important people in my life, He let me know the reflection I was seeing was flawed. Over the last few weeks, He has shown me His picture, what He sees when He looks at me.

This is the picture He has shown me. He sees someone who is growing. Growing in love, growing in maturity, just growing. He's proud of where she's come and not where she's been. He sees those special moments when she is completely in love with Him, not the few when she is distracted by someone else. He sees His little girl, dependent on Him whether she acknowledges it or not, His precious child who means more to Him than anything on this earth. His little girl, who is always, always growing. He sees someone, who has had her share of mistakes in the past, but can now use those to lead other people. She can show them how to get out of those same situations. He sees a beautiful, still-developing leader.

Honestly, it's hard to remember to look at God's picture of me instead of my own reflection. It's a daily choice at minimum. On the really rough days, it can be a minute-by-minute decision. But it is always so worth it! It makes the day (or the minute) so much better!

So, in the words of Tenth Avenue North, "Throw your mirrors down." Instead, pick up the masterpiece the world's greatest artist has created. Look through His eyes and not your own. I promise you. It will be worth it.

Deeply In Love

Every waking moment is consumed with thoughts of that special someone. Your closest friends, no matter how much they approve of the person, get tired of hearing about him or her. When you watch that romance movie, your mind replaces the two leads with the two of you. Every country song you hear makes you smile or hope you never have to sing it about this important person.

If you haven't felt this at some point in your life about someone, be prepared. It will probably happen to you too. It's a feeling that's hard to control, mainly because it feels so good. At the risk of sounding cliche, it's the most wonderful feeling in the whole world. If it's returned, it's even better.

It's love.

Recently, I have found myself experiencing this. Not that being in love is new to me. I have had some pretty major crushes in the past (just ask the friends who have had to listen to me over the years). But this. This is different. This is real love. This is something I never want to lose.

I have found myself in love with the most amazing person ever. In the words of Carrie Underwood, "He makes promises He keeps. No, He's never gonna leave." He loves me as much as I love Him, and I know that will never change. Even when I'm not giving Him all the attention He deserves, He still waits on me.

He's God.

To be honest, in comparison to how long I have known Him, this extreme passion for my Creator is new. I've always known He loves me. I've always thought I loved Him, too. But it has never been like this. In fact, I have spent years searching for love from someone else, someone else to give my love.

Actually, this passion is slowly but surely overcoming my most recent crush on a guy. For almost a week, I spent more time than normal with Him - reading my Bible, journaling (basically, writing love letters to God), and worshipping Him. For one of the first times, I found myself yearning to spend more time reading His love letter to me and return that love.

Then, last week, I hit a high point. I was with a big group of people who are falling in love with God like I am. But instead of knowing what everyone else was doing and saying, I was in my own little world, focusing on the love of my life.

As I thought about how I was falling in love with God, I thought about the crush this passion is replacing. I thought about how the next time I would see the person that I had been focused on, the attraction would not be completely gone. I knew I wanted it to be gone. I knew I wanted this newfound passion to consume me more than the immature crush.

The group began to sing the song "Empty Me" by Jeremy Camp. I very, very quickly made that song my prayer for the night. I told God I didn't want to have anything to do with that crush. I told God I wanted Him to fill my heart. Then I just sat there and let Him pour into me. It was the most refreshing, peaceful time I remember ever experiencing.

By that time I knew God was the center of my thoughts and would be as long as I let Him be, but I was still trying to figure out how I was going to deal with any left over attraction to the guy. It was then that a friend and mentor of mine started speaking. She said that she had seen a picture of a vase. The vase looked like a plant had once been in it and moved, because there were still some little specks of dirt stuck to the side. Then she saw water pouring into the vase. At first, the water got dirty because of the little bit of dirt still in there, but as the water continued to pour into the vase, it eventually overflowed and carried the dirt away. What she said the picture meant was that there is always still junk in our life - distractions, sin, anything that keeps us from God.

But... when we spend more time with God, He pours into us. He washes away all that stuff that would try to separate us from Him, that would try to steal our love from Him. That was my answer. I knew. All I have to do is spend time with God. Then this passion for Him would never go away.

So, what do I do now? I make sure I let people know who I am in love with. I talk about Him all the time. My thoughts are focusing more and more on Him. I always want to spend time with Him (which is not benefitting my homework at all), and I do it. I make time for Him no matter what.

And you know what's really great about God? He can give all His love to everybody at the same time. So, if you want to fall in love with somebody who will give you everything you need, somebody who listens to you, somebody who is happy when you're happy, somebody who will comfort you when you're down, someone who will always be waiting on you no matter what, then I suggest falling in love with God. Give HIM your heart. Spend time with Him. Read His love letter to you (otherwise known as the Bible). If you want, write your own love letter to God. I promise, it's the best thing you'll ever do.

After all, what could be better than falling in love with Love Himself?